Your brother or best friend has done you the honour of asking you to be best man at his forthcoming wedding, but what does the role entail? Here are some tips to help you be the best best man you can be…
Role of the best man. The role of the best man is to support the groom throughout the planning of the wedding and on the big day itself.
Stag night. Along with assistance from the ushers, it is the best man’s job to arrange the stag night. Think about it carefully. Arrange it a couple of weeks before the big day and select something in keeping with the groom’s character, which won’t result in a criminal record or cause the cancellation of the wedding!
Wedding planner. Many wedding planning schools offer free wedding planning or coordination services for brides. If you think that this would help alleviate her stress, let the bride know.
Paying fees. The church/registry fees need to be paid by the best man with an odd sum of the groom’s money, which superstition says will bring good luck to the couple.
Collecting suits. If suits are being purchased it is likely that you will have to pay for your own. However if the suits are hired then you need to make sure that you collect them 2-3 DAYS before the wedding and check that they fit as hired suits are notorious for causing problems. They will also need to be returned to the hire shop after the wedding.
Ushers and photos. The ushers need to be coordinated for the service, so that they know what needs to be done and when. Taking the photographs afterwards also needs managing to ensure that everyone is where they need to be.
Maid of honour. At the end of the marriage ceremony escort the maid of honour back up the aisle. It is usual, but not obligatory, to dance with her at the reception too.
Rings. Do not forget the rings – or joke about it for longer than about ten seconds! That’s it. Just make sure that you have the rings secured on your person, and have them ready when the time comes.
The speech. Possibly the most daunting part of the evening and sometimes done before the dinner so that the food can be enjoyed without nerves. The best man’s speech comes after the groom’s, and replies to his toast to the bridesmaids, giving thanks on their behalf for the gifts they have just received. It goes on to describe how lucky and what a good person the groom is. Then one or two cards and messages from absent friends and family are read out, followed by proposing a toast to absent friends and restarting the proceedings. Obviously the speech should be funny but do take care with the jokes used, and make sure that they are not likely to offend the guests and are not full of stag-party in-jokes.
Toastmaster. If a toastmaster has not been hired, and a wedding planner is not involved, you might be required to fill this role so that guests are informed what is happening and when.